The curse of the count strikes again
Two weeks ago the count reported that the cost of the NHS IT system would not be the original £2 billion, but closer to £30 billion. At which the Count's numerous critics started to enquire a) what was I putting in my tea? and b) could they have some as well? Surely not even the imbeciles that spend our money in government could spend 15 times the original estimate? If you think that, you have not been paying attention and have not heard of the Scottish Parliament.
Yesterday Lord Warner made a little announcement on progress of the NHS IT work. Lord Warner? Who is he? An iron rule of government is that when there is bad news you get a nonentity to announce it: step forward Lord Warner. If there is good news, like spending £1 million on a pet project, the Prime Minister, Chancellor and all the big wigs will leak it, pre-anounce it, announce it and then finally tell Parliament. Bad news, like a missing £20 billion or so (that's 20,000 pet projects) gets put out by whatever fall guy they can lay their hands on.
Fall Guy Warner casually announced that the project would not cost £6.2 billion (that's already three times the original estimate) but nearer £20 billion. They will get to the Count's £30 billion estimate in time.
£20 billion?!?!? That is £650 for every hard working household in the country. If the Count came knocking on your door to ask for £650 to buy a new laptop, even the Count would not expect the heartiest of welcomes. But since it is the government and the taxman everyone coughs up for the NHS to get its new laptop.
The cost has risen ten fold since the original estimates. Imagine going into a pub and asking for a pint of beer which you have seen advertised at £2. The barman then asks for £20 on the basis that he was unable to foresee all the costs involved in delivering the pint to you. This is not a mis-estimate. This is theft of the highest order. Even when the Kostovs are exploiting the peasants back home, at least we only double the price of essentials like bread and we get called all sorts of names for it. Increasing the price ten fold? The last time we tried that was around 1916: half the family got shot by revolutionaries and we had communism for the next 75 years. Shooting half the government would be a good start in this case.
At this stage the Count will now unveil another iron rule of government:
Prestige project plus government = expensive waste of money
Think Edinburgh Parliament, Millennium Dome, British Library, Diana Memorial. Did anyone mention the Lonodn Olympics? Be afraid, be very afraid.
Of course, there is one small amendment to the iron law of government profligacy: "Prestige project" is an unecessary term in the equation. Try instead:
Government = expensive waste of money.
Yesterday Lord Warner made a little announcement on progress of the NHS IT work. Lord Warner? Who is he? An iron rule of government is that when there is bad news you get a nonentity to announce it: step forward Lord Warner. If there is good news, like spending £1 million on a pet project, the Prime Minister, Chancellor and all the big wigs will leak it, pre-anounce it, announce it and then finally tell Parliament. Bad news, like a missing £20 billion or so (that's 20,000 pet projects) gets put out by whatever fall guy they can lay their hands on.
Fall Guy Warner casually announced that the project would not cost £6.2 billion (that's already three times the original estimate) but nearer £20 billion. They will get to the Count's £30 billion estimate in time.
£20 billion?!?!? That is £650 for every hard working household in the country. If the Count came knocking on your door to ask for £650 to buy a new laptop, even the Count would not expect the heartiest of welcomes. But since it is the government and the taxman everyone coughs up for the NHS to get its new laptop.
The cost has risen ten fold since the original estimates. Imagine going into a pub and asking for a pint of beer which you have seen advertised at £2. The barman then asks for £20 on the basis that he was unable to foresee all the costs involved in delivering the pint to you. This is not a mis-estimate. This is theft of the highest order. Even when the Kostovs are exploiting the peasants back home, at least we only double the price of essentials like bread and we get called all sorts of names for it. Increasing the price ten fold? The last time we tried that was around 1916: half the family got shot by revolutionaries and we had communism for the next 75 years. Shooting half the government would be a good start in this case.
At this stage the Count will now unveil another iron rule of government:
Prestige project plus government = expensive waste of money
Think Edinburgh Parliament, Millennium Dome, British Library, Diana Memorial. Did anyone mention the Lonodn Olympics? Be afraid, be very afraid.
Of course, there is one small amendment to the iron law of government profligacy: "Prestige project" is an unecessary term in the equation. Try instead:
Government = expensive waste of money.
posted by Count Kostov at
12:34 pm
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