Sleep your way to $150 billion
In a desert of statistical meadow mayonnaise it is, just occasionally, possible to find an odd gem. The Count has been up to his nose in statistical shit but has just found a diamond.
Congratulations go to Professor James Maas of Cornall University who has declared that the cost of sleep deprivation is $150 billion a year. This is a finding to cheer the Count who has long been accused of being an idle waste of space. I can now prove that I am sleeping to keep the economy afloat: it is my patriotic duty to fall asleep at every possible moment.
It gets better. I will not only save the economy by going to sleep. Professor Maas assures me that I will lose weight, reduce the risk of hyper-tension and heart attacks, increase happiness and generally become the sharpest knife in the box.
And if teenagers slept the 9.5 hours they need, they would cease to be a combination of walking zombies and homicidal knife-wielding maniacs. It is hard to stab someone to death while you are asleep instead of getting smashed out of your mind on a $15 all you can drink booze cruise.
Of course, the $150 billion is pure meadow mayonnaise. He got there by multplying the number of hours of lost sleep by the implied lost productivity of workers and produced $150 billion. Who cares if it is bullshit? The difference between bollocks and brilliance has nothing to do with scientific integrity and everything to do with what you want to believe. The Count strongly favours sleep as a solution to all the world's problems.
At this point the Count is off to save the world, not by going into a telephone box and puttting my pants outside my trousers, but by going to bed.
Congratulations go to Professor James Maas of Cornall University who has declared that the cost of sleep deprivation is $150 billion a year. This is a finding to cheer the Count who has long been accused of being an idle waste of space. I can now prove that I am sleeping to keep the economy afloat: it is my patriotic duty to fall asleep at every possible moment.
It gets better. I will not only save the economy by going to sleep. Professor Maas assures me that I will lose weight, reduce the risk of hyper-tension and heart attacks, increase happiness and generally become the sharpest knife in the box.
And if teenagers slept the 9.5 hours they need, they would cease to be a combination of walking zombies and homicidal knife-wielding maniacs. It is hard to stab someone to death while you are asleep instead of getting smashed out of your mind on a $15 all you can drink booze cruise.
Of course, the $150 billion is pure meadow mayonnaise. He got there by multplying the number of hours of lost sleep by the implied lost productivity of workers and produced $150 billion. Who cares if it is bullshit? The difference between bollocks and brilliance has nothing to do with scientific integrity and everything to do with what you want to believe. The Count strongly favours sleep as a solution to all the world's problems.
At this point the Count is off to save the world, not by going into a telephone box and puttting my pants outside my trousers, but by going to bed.
posted by Count Kostov at
1:56 pm
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