Second class FT -this is urgent

The FT has decided to cheer the Count up, and it has succeeded by proving that incompetence reaches from the heart of government to the heart of the capitalist system (at least, the FT thinks it is the heart of the system: more like the anal passage. The FT is the moral equivalent of the News of the World. Both deal in soap operas: one deals with TV soaps and the other with corporate soaps. The readers of neither paper can do anything about the soap operas other than talk about them with co-workers over the two hour morning and afternoon coffee breaks, plus the three hour lunch before going home again. But the Count digresses).

The FT decided to ask me some impertinent questions, like :

"Do I live in a bungalow". A bungalow?!?!?
How much am I worth? (Ha ha ha: they did not have any "negative net value" box)
Would I like to receive lots of spam from the FT and a few "carefully chosen" (ie paying through the nose) suppliers?

They thoughfully provided me an envelope to post my reply. The envelope was marked "URGENT". The postal frank was for second class post.

I fully expect that they will receive their second class urgent response in the next year or two.