Give me a break
This is the time of year when the Count starts rummaging through the attic in search of last year's sandals, shorts, knotted handkerchief and bucket and spade. In short (or shorts) it is time to think of having a break.
So the Count was delighted to see that lastminute.com was advertising breaks in Paris for a mere £83.
Never let it be said that government are the only scumbags on the planet. Lastminute and all the other tour operators can join them in the gutter. Their "cost of" calculations should carry a wealth warning. Especially when they say the cost is "from....."
After much digging, the best price the Count could actually get for a three start hotel somewhere in Paris (as opposed to a hovel in a cabbage patch surrounded by rioting immigrants 100km from Paris) was a mere £740. To which they doubtless add every surcharge and optional extra they can think of: booking fee, credit card fee, delivery fee, upgrade fee, administation fee, insurance etc. So the actual cost of Paris is ten times the cost they advertise. And that is before the countess has done her best to turn around the French perma-recession by going in for serious plastic abuse at all the boutiques and restaurants in the capital.
Searching for the elusive £83 deal is like looking for hen's teeth. Possibly the only £83 tour involves being given a pogo stick at Dover and being invited to pogo stick your way across the channel to Paris. Of course, there is also a non-refundable deposit of £2,000 on the pogo stick. But the good news is that for a modest upgrade they will provide a mad fenchman with a bicycle, baguette and foaming rottweiller to chase you all the way to Paris. Or perhaps they provide a rottweiller on a bike and a foaming frenchman. Whatever.
Of course, the bullshit is given away by the weasal word "from". "from" brings on involuntary spasms from the count, whenever he sees it being used in advertising:
"Spain from only.."
"Bargain computers from..."
"Apartments from..."
If any one sees any particularly egregious (don't know how to spell that word or what it means, but it sounds pretty good to me) uses of the word "from" let the count know: your fame will be assured in this massive column. And the curse of the count will fall upon the villains.
So the Count was delighted to see that lastminute.com was advertising breaks in Paris for a mere £83.
Never let it be said that government are the only scumbags on the planet. Lastminute and all the other tour operators can join them in the gutter. Their "cost of" calculations should carry a wealth warning. Especially when they say the cost is "from....."
After much digging, the best price the Count could actually get for a three start hotel somewhere in Paris (as opposed to a hovel in a cabbage patch surrounded by rioting immigrants 100km from Paris) was a mere £740. To which they doubtless add every surcharge and optional extra they can think of: booking fee, credit card fee, delivery fee, upgrade fee, administation fee, insurance etc. So the actual cost of Paris is ten times the cost they advertise. And that is before the countess has done her best to turn around the French perma-recession by going in for serious plastic abuse at all the boutiques and restaurants in the capital.
Searching for the elusive £83 deal is like looking for hen's teeth. Possibly the only £83 tour involves being given a pogo stick at Dover and being invited to pogo stick your way across the channel to Paris. Of course, there is also a non-refundable deposit of £2,000 on the pogo stick. But the good news is that for a modest upgrade they will provide a mad fenchman with a bicycle, baguette and foaming rottweiller to chase you all the way to Paris. Or perhaps they provide a rottweiller on a bike and a foaming frenchman. Whatever.
Of course, the bullshit is given away by the weasal word "from". "from" brings on involuntary spasms from the count, whenever he sees it being used in advertising:
"Spain from only.."
"Bargain computers from..."
"Apartments from..."
If any one sees any particularly egregious (don't know how to spell that word or what it means, but it sounds pretty good to me) uses of the word "from" let the count know: your fame will be assured in this massive column. And the curse of the count will fall upon the villains.
posted by Count Kostov at
8:26 pm
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