solid stirling shite
So congratulations to the Scottish Parliament on winning the Stirling Prize for architecture, value £20,000. If they can win another 21,750 prizes of the same value, they might just about pay for the white elephant.
If the Count blows a modest £15 million on country estate, all the low life will be up in arms about the extravagent waste of the idle rich. Blow 30 times that amount and the low life get a prize for it. If you want real waste and extravagence, do not look to the idle aristocracy. Look to the idle layabouts that fashion themselves as the servants of the people.
In taking on the Scots, those with thick heads and thin skins, the Count has gone in search of an ally. Step forward red Ken Livingstone, mayor of London and nutty as a fruitcake. Why on earth should a Count be allying with red Ken? Like the Count, red Ken can call things as they are. So he has made the one astute observation of the London Assembly, which he runs: fire the 25 politician assembly members because they are idlers who do no work.
Hold on to your travel ticket: we will return to Scotland via the London Assembly in due course.
Let's look at this for a moment. London has a human population of 7 million (plus politicians) for which we have 25 useless Assembly members. Scotland (human population heading south of 5 million as Scots all sign up to Johnson's declaration that "the finest sight in Scotland is the high road to England" where they can all say how wonderful Scotland is, without the inconvenience of living there). So how many politicians does Scotland need? 129. Five times as many politicians doing five times the damage for a smaller population than London.
Next stop on the Count's tour: the cost of the politician's buildings.
The London Assembly cost an outrageous £43 million. This is justified by the smellies because it is an iconic building (blah blah blah) on a a top site in the centre of London where the cost of breathing, let alone living, is measured in billions of pounds per second. Well, GDP per head in inner London is three times that of Scotland. So how much did the wonderful Scottish parliament cost for an equally iconic (blah blah blah) building in a top site for a smaller population with one third the living costs of London? Perhaps an extravagent £20 million will do nicely?
£20 million for the "servants of the people"? You must be kidding. These servants have ideas above their station: they blew £431 million (at least) on finding somewhere to put the photocopier. Haven't they heard of Prontaprint? Predictably, it took twice as long and cost four times as much as originally estimated and no politician was in any way to blame for the fiasco they so totally mismanaged: time to give themselves a few prizes for blowing their master's money. If we are their masters, we should horse whip them immediately and have them thrown in debtors' prison where they can beg for alms from vistors who can see the consequences of profligacy with the public purse. Instead, each of the 129 members has £3.5 million of office building.
The Count could buy a Scottish castle or two for £3.5 million and have cash left over to buy the fishing rights on the local river. The reason Scottish castles are so cheap is that no sane person would want to live in one, unless it could be put somewhere interesting, like Italy. But then it would not be a Scottish castle. And the Count does not even want the fishing rights to some washed up river which used to have salmon. He wants the shooting rights to the Scottish Parliament so that he can cull the useless politicians. They may have banned hunting with dogs: they have not banned hunting of dogs. That means all the politicians can be culled with immunity. Forget the Purdeys, I think this is one for my Uzi....
If the Count blows a modest £15 million on country estate, all the low life will be up in arms about the extravagent waste of the idle rich. Blow 30 times that amount and the low life get a prize for it. If you want real waste and extravagence, do not look to the idle aristocracy. Look to the idle layabouts that fashion themselves as the servants of the people.
In taking on the Scots, those with thick heads and thin skins, the Count has gone in search of an ally. Step forward red Ken Livingstone, mayor of London and nutty as a fruitcake. Why on earth should a Count be allying with red Ken? Like the Count, red Ken can call things as they are. So he has made the one astute observation of the London Assembly, which he runs: fire the 25 politician assembly members because they are idlers who do no work.
Hold on to your travel ticket: we will return to Scotland via the London Assembly in due course.
Let's look at this for a moment. London has a human population of 7 million (plus politicians) for which we have 25 useless Assembly members. Scotland (human population heading south of 5 million as Scots all sign up to Johnson's declaration that "the finest sight in Scotland is the high road to England" where they can all say how wonderful Scotland is, without the inconvenience of living there). So how many politicians does Scotland need? 129. Five times as many politicians doing five times the damage for a smaller population than London.
Next stop on the Count's tour: the cost of the politician's buildings.
The London Assembly cost an outrageous £43 million. This is justified by the smellies because it is an iconic building (blah blah blah) on a a top site in the centre of London where the cost of breathing, let alone living, is measured in billions of pounds per second. Well, GDP per head in inner London is three times that of Scotland. So how much did the wonderful Scottish parliament cost for an equally iconic (blah blah blah) building in a top site for a smaller population with one third the living costs of London? Perhaps an extravagent £20 million will do nicely?
£20 million for the "servants of the people"? You must be kidding. These servants have ideas above their station: they blew £431 million (at least) on finding somewhere to put the photocopier. Haven't they heard of Prontaprint? Predictably, it took twice as long and cost four times as much as originally estimated and no politician was in any way to blame for the fiasco they so totally mismanaged: time to give themselves a few prizes for blowing their master's money. If we are their masters, we should horse whip them immediately and have them thrown in debtors' prison where they can beg for alms from vistors who can see the consequences of profligacy with the public purse. Instead, each of the 129 members has £3.5 million of office building.
The Count could buy a Scottish castle or two for £3.5 million and have cash left over to buy the fishing rights on the local river. The reason Scottish castles are so cheap is that no sane person would want to live in one, unless it could be put somewhere interesting, like Italy. But then it would not be a Scottish castle. And the Count does not even want the fishing rights to some washed up river which used to have salmon. He wants the shooting rights to the Scottish Parliament so that he can cull the useless politicians. They may have banned hunting with dogs: they have not banned hunting of dogs. That means all the politicians can be culled with immunity. Forget the Purdeys, I think this is one for my Uzi....
posted by Count Kostov at
9:02 pm
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