Flying in the face of reality
Business In The Community (BiTC) has kicked off the smug awards season by giving Tesco an award for environmental responsibility. Tesco's qualifications for this are:
British Airways is not waiting for BiTC to help out: it is awarding itself awards and slapping its own back. The Count will happily slap any part of BA for its scumbag dishonesty which serves to show that business people are as bent as a seven pound note.
BA is spending a few million on advertising the great success of Terminal 5. Its latest claims are that "90% of flights take off within 15 minutes of the scheduled time" and that on average it only takes six minutes to check in. If this is the best they can do, they need to give BiTC a big donation and wait to be given an environmental prize in return. Let's take a chainsaw to this nonsense.
90% of flights do not take off within fifteen minutes of schedule. They push back from the gate and then spend several hours wandering around the Heathrow tarmac finding a runway and a runway slot. And if BA manage to have 10% not even pushing back within fifteen minutes of schedule, then they really can not even run a BAth, let alone BA.
Only six minutes to check in sounds great, except that most people check in by the internet or by machine, so that is no big deal. They quietly ignore the problems of getting through security: if they were so efficient, why do they say that everyone must complete check in sixty minutes before scheduled departure (which will not happen for 90 minutes anyway) - or they will not be allowed to continue.
And the six minutes ignores the evening peak (they only measure results to 2pm). And it ignores the hell of getting to check in at T5 which appears to have been designed by a demented leprachaun after a night on the town. Getting from the tube to departures by escalator is a labyrinthine exploration of shops, offices, arrivals halls, up and down escalators, hidden signs and utter chaos. And T5 is only served by half a tube line: the other half serves the other terminals.
So BA's great success is this: it has constructed an inaccessible, badly designed terminal where passengers need over an hour to get through security to catch flights which will not leave on time. But check in only takes six minutes of the four hours of hell you are likely to endure from leaving home to sitting on the aircraft.
Meanwhile BA want us to know that their submissions for the third runway at Heathrow are completely honest and objective.
At this point the only sensible thing to do is to hire a few shoulder launched SAMs and see if Al-Qaeda would like to do some target training near Heathrow: if not on BA aircraft, then at least on BA management.
- its buying practices lead to factory farming and eco-disasters
- its out of town stores destroy the green belt and encourage massive car pollution
- it is a member of BiTC and a big donor to it.
British Airways is not waiting for BiTC to help out: it is awarding itself awards and slapping its own back. The Count will happily slap any part of BA for its scumbag dishonesty which serves to show that business people are as bent as a seven pound note.
BA is spending a few million on advertising the great success of Terminal 5. Its latest claims are that "90% of flights take off within 15 minutes of the scheduled time" and that on average it only takes six minutes to check in. If this is the best they can do, they need to give BiTC a big donation and wait to be given an environmental prize in return. Let's take a chainsaw to this nonsense.
90% of flights do not take off within fifteen minutes of schedule. They push back from the gate and then spend several hours wandering around the Heathrow tarmac finding a runway and a runway slot. And if BA manage to have 10% not even pushing back within fifteen minutes of schedule, then they really can not even run a BAth, let alone BA.
Only six minutes to check in sounds great, except that most people check in by the internet or by machine, so that is no big deal. They quietly ignore the problems of getting through security: if they were so efficient, why do they say that everyone must complete check in sixty minutes before scheduled departure (which will not happen for 90 minutes anyway) - or they will not be allowed to continue.
And the six minutes ignores the evening peak (they only measure results to 2pm). And it ignores the hell of getting to check in at T5 which appears to have been designed by a demented leprachaun after a night on the town. Getting from the tube to departures by escalator is a labyrinthine exploration of shops, offices, arrivals halls, up and down escalators, hidden signs and utter chaos. And T5 is only served by half a tube line: the other half serves the other terminals.
So BA's great success is this: it has constructed an inaccessible, badly designed terminal where passengers need over an hour to get through security to catch flights which will not leave on time. But check in only takes six minutes of the four hours of hell you are likely to endure from leaving home to sitting on the aircraft.
Meanwhile BA want us to know that their submissions for the third runway at Heathrow are completely honest and objective.
At this point the only sensible thing to do is to hire a few shoulder launched SAMs and see if Al-Qaeda would like to do some target training near Heathrow: if not on BA aircraft, then at least on BA management.
posted by Count Kostov at
12:07 pm
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