Shiver me timbers, boy. $29 billion beats pieces of eight. It's time I sold my pirate ship and bought myself a pirate computer so I can sail the high seas of the internet and plunder lots of free software. I might even find myself a few free wenches disporting themselves for my pleasure at the right internet port.
All good pirates may be short on the required number of legs and eyes. But we are all long on our noses and can smell guano at fifty leagues distance. I smell guano big time. Count Kostov is going to do the three step dance to discover the guano behind the $29 biliion. This is difficult with one real leg and one wooden leg, but the Count leaves no stone unturned (or untripped over) in search of truth, wealth and wenches.
Step One: The venal start. So who is behind this research? Cue the Business Software Alliance. They are about as impartial as Dead Eye Dick when it comes to discussing who owns what. They are in business to show that there is a piracy problem.
Step two: The Meadow Mayonnaise Moment (on the high seas we call this the guano gambit). The BSA miraculously conjures up a figure of $29 billion. They claim this is how much is lost to software pirates each year. They conveniently forget that they charge such outrageous prices that most people in the pirate capitals of the world (China, India and poorer countries) could not afford to pay anyway. So there are no lost sales.
Step three: The illogical conclusion. Get ready for the heart rending pleas of poverty from Bill Gates. Software pirates are seriously damaging his wealth. We should immediately get Indian peasants and chinese labourers to give Bill hundreds of dollars for software whose marginal cost is a few cents. Microsoft needs the cash. They are only making about 30% net margin, despite being hugely inefficient and producing insecure software which is full of bugs.
By now, it is clear who the real pirates are: Captain Bill and the pirate ship Microsoft that is raiding homes and businesses across the world. The best rip off comes when they combine efforts with Captain Mike of the good ship Dell. They make unsuspecting victims pay for the Microsoft software on the Dell computer. When you replace the computer, you can not transfer the software to your new computer. You have to buy the software all over again. You pay far too much for the software first time around, and then they make you pay for it a second time around as well.
It's enough to make my parrot weep.
All good pirates may be short on the required number of legs and eyes. But we are all long on our noses and can smell guano at fifty leagues distance. I smell guano big time. Count Kostov is going to do the three step dance to discover the guano behind the $29 biliion. This is difficult with one real leg and one wooden leg, but the Count leaves no stone unturned (or untripped over) in search of truth, wealth and wenches.
Step One: The venal start. So who is behind this research? Cue the Business Software Alliance. They are about as impartial as Dead Eye Dick when it comes to discussing who owns what. They are in business to show that there is a piracy problem.
Step two: The Meadow Mayonnaise Moment (on the high seas we call this the guano gambit). The BSA miraculously conjures up a figure of $29 billion. They claim this is how much is lost to software pirates each year. They conveniently forget that they charge such outrageous prices that most people in the pirate capitals of the world (China, India and poorer countries) could not afford to pay anyway. So there are no lost sales.
Step three: The illogical conclusion. Get ready for the heart rending pleas of poverty from Bill Gates. Software pirates are seriously damaging his wealth. We should immediately get Indian peasants and chinese labourers to give Bill hundreds of dollars for software whose marginal cost is a few cents. Microsoft needs the cash. They are only making about 30% net margin, despite being hugely inefficient and producing insecure software which is full of bugs.
By now, it is clear who the real pirates are: Captain Bill and the pirate ship Microsoft that is raiding homes and businesses across the world. The best rip off comes when they combine efforts with Captain Mike of the good ship Dell. They make unsuspecting victims pay for the Microsoft software on the Dell computer. When you replace the computer, you can not transfer the software to your new computer. You have to buy the software all over again. You pay far too much for the software first time around, and then they make you pay for it a second time around as well.
It's enough to make my parrot weep.
posted by Count Kostov at
12:01 pm
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