My Name is Count Kostov. My friends call me Boris. I would like to remind my numerous enemies that they should call me Count. They should remember that "Count" has an "O" in it.
I hope to create many more enemies as a result of this blog.
I suffered for many years when the my glorious fatherland was ruled by a peasant from Georgia. Never let peasants run anything. None of my family's peasants could even run a bath. They made feeble excuses for this, like being too poor to buy a bath. No wonder that peasant Stalin could not run a country.
So I came to the West in search of freedom, wealth and the truth. Sex and drugs and rock and roll were also quite attractive. They are better than the salt mines. Except for Oasis.
I tell people I came above all in search of truth. Years of being fed Pravda and news bulletins which covered every minute of the deputy secretary's speech on iron production in Siberia meant that truth was a rare and valuable commodity. We had never heard the truth.
So now I am spitting my blood, which is deep blue, at your filthy vile journalists, politicians, businessmen, lobbyists and generalised hangers-on and vermin that twist and distort the truth. They claim the cost of everything is huge. It is their way of getting attention and publicity and support. They think it is in a good cause. But then they complain that no one trusts them any more. Scientists complain that no one believes the cretinous research they produce for their paymasters. You can see them dancing like puppets on their sponsor's wings.
So over the coming weeks we will expose these people who are corrupting the truth and taking us into a capitalist version of communist truth where nothing is what it seems.
You are welcome if you are fed up living on a diet of meadow mayonnaise produced by these vermin. We should open up salt mines for them specially. Or make them listen to Oasis . You are even more welcome if you spot some bovine watse in what are laughingly referred to as your newspapers. You will see the reports about "the cost of....absenteeism, traffic delays, obesity, red tape".
If you are a politician, lobbysit, lackey, servile scientist, journalist or peasant then call me Count and may Oasis come and play in your living room for all eternity.
I hope to create many more enemies as a result of this blog.
I suffered for many years when the my glorious fatherland was ruled by a peasant from Georgia. Never let peasants run anything. None of my family's peasants could even run a bath. They made feeble excuses for this, like being too poor to buy a bath. No wonder that peasant Stalin could not run a country.
So I came to the West in search of freedom, wealth and the truth. Sex and drugs and rock and roll were also quite attractive. They are better than the salt mines. Except for Oasis.
I tell people I came above all in search of truth. Years of being fed Pravda and news bulletins which covered every minute of the deputy secretary's speech on iron production in Siberia meant that truth was a rare and valuable commodity. We had never heard the truth.
So now I am spitting my blood, which is deep blue, at your filthy vile journalists, politicians, businessmen, lobbyists and generalised hangers-on and vermin that twist and distort the truth. They claim the cost of everything is huge. It is their way of getting attention and publicity and support. They think it is in a good cause. But then they complain that no one trusts them any more. Scientists complain that no one believes the cretinous research they produce for their paymasters. You can see them dancing like puppets on their sponsor's wings.
So over the coming weeks we will expose these people who are corrupting the truth and taking us into a capitalist version of communist truth where nothing is what it seems.
You are welcome if you are fed up living on a diet of meadow mayonnaise produced by these vermin. We should open up salt mines for them specially. Or make them listen to Oasis . You are even more welcome if you spot some bovine watse in what are laughingly referred to as your newspapers. You will see the reports about "the cost of....absenteeism, traffic delays, obesity, red tape".
If you are a politician, lobbysit, lackey, servile scientist, journalist or peasant then call me Count and may Oasis come and play in your living room for all eternity.
posted by Count Kostov at
7:36 pm
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